Grateful

Grateful for the emotion
Grateful for the fear
Grateful for the anger
Grateful for the tears
Grateful for the freedom to be
Grateful for my life
Grateful for my fingers
Grateful that I feel intense pain

Scared of the numb
The incomprehensible, uncontrollable, big
fog passing over
creeping into every cell of my nervous system
No Feeling, Thinking,
Doing
It numbs my whole body, my mind, my heart
and in doing so
Paralyses me in every way
I am the strong man tied up
Invaded by
An unwelcome void.
A temporary non-existence
You are nothingness.

Grateful that when tears stream down my face
And I can't contain the life in me
That the life is there
That I am here
I am.